Aysha Jane Kuddissi

The big sister of Grace

A massive thank you to all those who visits my Twinkletoe's. Also thank you for all the candles, tributes, pictures and gifts that are left, I am sure Aysha has never felt so much love and I'm hope she's loving every moment of it, as this is one baby who deserves it.
Many thanks all for all the love and support shown to me and my mum xxxxxxxxxx

In Loving memory of my Twinkle Toe's, Aysha Jane Kuddissi.
I love and miss this little girl so much.

If your a parent, Do you remember that first time that you met your baby, That intense rush of love you feel, That protection mode you go into, Like a lioness protecting her cubs?
Well that's how I felt when I held Aysha that first time, And when she looked at me with those blue eyes and my heart just melted some more and I knew she was going to have me wrapped round her little finger. I was going to be the best Auntie ever, I was and still am extremely proud to be Aysha's Auntie.

But I failed to protect her and she died, And this I will live with everyday.

PLZ ALSO VISIT MY FRIENDS THEY ARE HURT ANGELS LIKE ME
the flowers in gods garden

Please also visit Aysha's big brother who also died with injuries too but was registered as cot death as he injuries were not the cause of he's death, You can see him at karl-fisher.gonetoosoon.co.uk

PLEASE NOTE AYSHA AND KARLS DADS ARE NOT THE SAME, Aysha's real dad is Turkish, It was my sister and Aysha's STEPFATHER who made this angel suffer.

It's been almost 21 year's now since I have lost my Twinkle Toe's and not a day doesn't go by without some thought of her going through my head.


Ok I am going to tell you all about the brutal life that Aysha endured for almost 16 months.

PLEASE READ AYSHAS STORY ~♥~♥~♥~♥~♥ ~♥~♥~♥~♥~♥~♥ ~♥~♥~♥

Aysha was born as Doreen Jane Mason to My Ex sister Christine and her partner Roy who I might add was not Aysha's real dad, They met when my sister was pregnant with Aysha. They lived at 22 Doddington Grove, Kennington, South London.
Put Doreen Mason in your search bar, She's there.

Aysha's real daddy who was Turkish used to call her Aysha (pronounced Aye-Shah) before he was stopped by Christine from seeing her. Aysha's real dad was proud to be her daddy and even offered Christine marriage, She refused. So we gave her the name that her real daddy had called her along with he's surname.
After Aysha died her really daddy returned to Turkey a crushed man.

Aysha was born on the 22.05.1986 at 12.05am in St Thomas's Hospital, She weighed 5lb 12oz with a mop of dark hair with the most amazing blue eyes.

I was 15 when she was born.

She grew her wing's on the afternoon of the 13.09.1987 at the same Hospital she was born in aged almost 16 months, After suffering at least four days with excruciating headache's and pain which her head injury would have caused, This was caused by one of her so called parents swinging her by her ankles and slamming her back and head into the wall, She hit the wall with such force her poor little head left an imprint on it. She was just 74cm long and just under 22lb in weight

We finally got 2 say goodbye with heartbreak 2 our Twinkle Toes ~~ The day we buried her on the 12.07.1988

Aysha had the worst kind of child abuse inflicted with hate on her daily by her so called parent's, I did ask my ex sister once when Aysha was tiny why she treated her so bad, She replied " I wanted a boy not a girl", and she honestly believed Aysha was ugly. My mum and I think she's gorgeous and always have from the first day we met her.
Well now, Last year while getting all the fact's together to make sure Aysha's site was all truth, I actually found out some heart breaking fact's, That Aysha's brother Karl who was a Year older and registered as dying of sids, He's Mum had admitted to Berkshire social services she killed him and later at her trial of the murder of Aysha she had told the jury she had dropped Karl to the floor and kicked him around like a rag doll, This poor little baby of almost 11 week's had broken bones, And he had suffered a brain haemorrhage and bruise's when he died. Christine had shown us Karl's death certificate showing he had died from sids and we at the time had no reason to not believe her. I only met Karl once at the hospital before I joined mum in London, Christine refused to let me hold him, And did nothing but hurl abuse at me for reason's to this day I'm not sure of as I was just 12. Sadly Karl's Nan never knew of he's birth. My dad who mum was separated from had not told her.

Are the warning sign's ringing yet?.
Well Social services in Berkshire forgot to tell London Social service's this crucial information, And they left poor Aysha in this evil pair's hands, The same hand's that had abused a tiny baby boy was going to end He's beautiful baby sister's life.

Aysha's first bruise I remember it well, Because my mum went mad over it, Christine, Aysha's so called mum had brought her to see us at our mum's house she was 5 day's old. I remember walking in from school and seeing the most beautiful baby I'd ever seen.
I went over and picked her up, Christine (Aysha's mum) had just put her on the sofa and walked off. I was worried about her getting too hot as the house was warm so I removed Aysha's Hat, Well in second's of doing that I shouted for mum, The whole left side of Aysha's face was bruised, Mum went charging into Christine asking what the **** had happened to the baby, Christine told mum that Aysha had fallen of the bed, I was only 15 and even I knew a new born wouldn't be able to manage that.
I let them row as Aysha was now crying for a feed, You know what, she had none, Christine told my mum she could wait till she got home. Mum sent me to the shops for a bottle, We all ready had formula as My sister was only 7 month's, Poor Aysha had to cry until I returned and had sterilised that bottle before she had her feed. I felt so sorry for her, And very angry at Christine.

From this moment Aysha's life was going to get so much worse.

Aysha was placed on the "At risk register about a month old" by Southwark Social Services.

I told Lambeth social service's weekly about the treatment of this precious baby along with our Mum, The last thing I said to Lambeth Social service's was " She's gonna end up killing her and your not listening", I so didn't want to be proved right, But I was and to this day regret those last words.
It came out in the Old Bailey trial that the Lambeth social worker had indeed informed the Lambeth's team manager on many occasion's, He did nothing.
Also Southwark social services were informed by the midwife that Christine showed no maternal instinct's, She refused to hold or do anything for Aysha, Followed by the Health visitor, Who told them that Christine had no maternal instinct's, She had to tell Christine to pick the baby up after she had been sick.
Also a Barnado's social worker had also contacted them twice that I know of, with concerns, Christine walked about 2 miles in the snow with Aysha in a summer dress and cardigan, The poor mite had nothing else on not even a blanket, When she got to us she was blue with the cold and soaked through, The Barnado's social worker said to Christine to bring the baby in and warm her up and they would find her some warm clothes, Christine swore at her refusing and changed poor Aysha's nappy outside in the snow.
We did get Aysha into the nursery in the end and managed to warm her up.
Another time the Barnado's social worker who worked at the barnado's childrens day nursery in Brixton, South London rang the Southwark social service's was when after me having word's at Christine for the abuse that Aysha was enduring, She held a knife to her throat in front of some of the parent's who were in the parent's room.
Well all hell broke lose I charged forward and snatched Aysha from her mum and carried her to the police station, I told them what had happened but because of some unknown reason I wasn't believed and told to return Aysha or face abduction charge's.
I was 16 and if the truth be known scared by this and returned Aysha with a heavy heart. To this day I wish I stood my ground.

Another episode regarding the police was early hours in the morning my Mum awoke me saying she could hear a baby crying, We searched and searched and traced the crying to the front door, Mum opened it and there was Poor Aysha only 2-3 month's, Christine had put the baby on the step without a carry cot or anything protecting her and had gone clubbing.
Well Mum did refuse to give her back and Christine called the police, They arrived and told mum she must give Aysha back. And they would inform Southwark Social service's of mums complaint.

Aysha never cried, She was too scared too, She wasn't like any of my children, Her big beautiful eye's didn't shine (Babies' and children's eyes always shine when they feel loved and happy) and other people referred to at the her at the trial 'as the baby that never smiled'.
All the sign's of abuse was there along with bruises.
But as soon as she saw Nanny she would get all excited and call for Nan Nan the only word's I ever heard Aysha say.
I only had to say "hello Twinkle Toe's" and she would have the biggest smile for Auntie Carole, A smile I will always treasure.
Aysha never crawled or walked throughout her life, We now know why.

During her short life Aysha did live with us for numerous short spell's. We would have her for a couple of days and enjoy her and show her love and then Christine would take her back.
Aysha enjoyed my Mum's cockney east end way of cooking, She loved stews and home made chicken pie.
Every time we eat that stew we think of her tucking in and the times she would throw her bowl at us because she wanted more :)

Aysha came to Nannies' for her 1st and only birthday. Nanny brought her a dress, cake and party food and she had a small party with people who loved her, Nanny brought her a big teddy bear and me being a softie for Disney brought her an Eeyore, Eeyore remains with me still today.
We took load's of picture's most of these was taken by reporter's never to be returned.
I did find one recently it was smaller than a passport photo and in a bad way after being stored unknowingly in a shed. This now was kindly restored for me and now shines on her page. I will admit when it was delivered to me I cried my heart out, I hadn't seen this little face for at least 19 and a half year's.

After Aysha's 1st birthday the visit's from Christine and Aysha dwindled and from reading all the reports the abuse intensified drastically.
But one memory from about this time I can recall,
Me and my Twinkle Toe's had our own little game. Just a silly one but it made her laugh and we would just laugh at her laugh.
I'd be holding her and then pretend to drop her, She thought this was the best game ever, Until it lost it's sparkle one day, She was sitting on her Mum's lap without a hand keeping her safe, She fell backwards onto a tiled floor, She hit it with such a force and her mum just got up and walked out, We rushed to comfort Aysha and kiss her tears away, That's when my step dad who I love dearly the one and only time I ever heard him lose he's temper went for Christine.
He didn't lay a hand on her but told her a few home truths.
I never played that game again, Not even with my own children.

Me and Mum went to Christine's flat a few times banging on the door and shouting through the letterbox but never gaining access to the flat or Aysha. I was young and stupid, I actually used to think they were out but from what I was later to find out she may have been there. But either way we were ignored. Like almost every caller.


We yet again rang social services voicing our concern's yet again to fall on deaf ears.

Finally on Friday the 11th of September social services had a warrant to gain access and remove Aysha. It was left unsigned, They thought she could wait till Monday. THEY WERE WRONG.
An ambulance was called to the home address of Aysha on Saturday the 12th September, This child's so called parents kept paramedics waiting for over an hour before they even allowed the paramedic's to tend to poor Aysha, When they did get to her they found my Twinkle Toe's alone on the living room floor unconscious.
They were told that she had fallen of the bed.
Aysha was rushed to St Thomas's hospital and placed on a life support machine, Even knowing that Aysha could at this point die, They told the doctor's 3 different account's of what happened rather then tell the truth and try and save her,Not one of the account's given to the doctor's told them about her head trauma. She was pronounced Brain dead on the afternoon of Sunday the 13th.
Christine turned off her life support machine and walked away and left her to die alone. No-one thought to ring her family. I would have liked to hold her as the Angels collected her, Even knowing that my heart would be badly crushed, I still would of held her and let her go in the arms of someone who loved her uncondionally.
That I will never forgive Christine for.
Aysha's life ended brutally without the two people who loved her dearly holding her.

My mum was told the Monday after Aysha had died, I heard it on the ITN news.
I thought I was mistaken but it was confirmed by social services on Thursday. I cannot tell you how I felt. My heart broke and I was am still am so so angry.
I'm angry at the Social services and also Aysha's neighbours who heard her last screams days before she died and readily told the reporters this, But they did nothing.
After the trial 8 social workers were sacked as the judge stated they had let Aysha die.
The judge also told the Social services that the inquiry of how they failed Aysha was to be made public, As the public wanted answers. So did I, That I might add I never did get them, There is never going to be closure for us where Aysha's death is concerned.

~♥~♥~♥~♥~♥ ~♥~♥~♥~♥~♥~♥ ~♥~♥~♥Coroner's report be warned, Skip this paragraph if you need too.
~♥~♥~♥~♥~♥ ~♥~♥~♥~♥~♥~♥ ~♥~♥~♥
Aysha's battered little body arrived at Southwarks coroner at 14.25pm on Monday the 14th September. Christine did not show Aysha any love even after she died, She demanded 2 more post mortem's on Aysha, So this poor mite had three post mortems done on her in total.
When the coroner checked over Aysha, She had 55 new injuries to her tiny underweight body (She weighed just under 22LBs)and was just 74 cm in height, This included extensive bruising to her whole body over 15 bruises was noted just to her face alone, bruising to both her lungs,Her speen was torn, 1 break and 5 fractures in her left leg, Broken ribs, fractures in her right leg, A burn on her hand that had been caused by a lighter that measured 3cm by 3cm in diameter the skin had been burned off and numerous cigarette burns where they had been stubbed out on her, Extensive bruising to her back, black eyes, the coroner noted over another 40 older injuries and scars on her body but the fatal injury was the blow to her poor head which caused a large bilateral parieto-occipital subdural haemorrhage (BRAIN), The head injury covered a massive 15 x 20 cm in bruising on the back of my head (now remember she's just 16 months old, 22lb in weight and just 74cm tall), Just plain evil these so called parent's were.

~♥~♥~♥~♥~♥ ~♥~♥~♥~♥~♥~♥ ~♥~♥~♥
End of coroner's report
~♥~♥~♥~♥~♥ ~♥~♥~♥~♥~♥~♥ ~♥~♥~♥

After her death it all came out in the trial which started in DEC 1988 at London's Old Bailey.

The R.S.P.C.A had removed the family dog from this pair. They had cruelly tied the poor dog's mouth, 5 times the rope went around it's mouth. The dog was left scarred for life.


Some of Ayshas horrors of her short life.

1)They also made a crude splint to straighten her broken leg and would push their heads into Ayshas stomach, Pressing her against the wall. Then released their hands so they could straighten her leg, Till this little angel would faint with pain.

2)For punishment for not eating or crying,They would plunge her in the bath holding her head under water till her stomach swelled, Then they would get her out and pump her stomach.

3)They also locked this beautiful tiny baby in a wardrobe for hours on end (now you know why she's scared of the dark).So they could listen to Elvis Presley records.

4)They laid a heavy hoover on her leg's to stop her becoming bow legged (hello her leg would be bowed they broke it just about everywhere)

5) Welts from belts and buckle's that's had she had been struck with all over her tiny body, Even her beautiful face .

6)When they could be bothered to fed Aysha, She was fed junk food and drank coffee and her bed was a blanket on the floor.

7)Her small 22lb body had so many injuries and bruises when she died, There was hardly a place on her body that was unmarked.


In January 1988 Christine Mason and Roy Aston were sentenced to 12 years for manslaughter and 3 years for cruelty to run concurrently.

They appealed in 1990 and both walked free as they couldn't prove which one had caused the fatal blow. What a injustice for Aysha and Me I wanted them to rot in hell for what they did.
I have not seen Christine since the trial, I was called to tell the jury what my sister had put my Twinkle Toe's through. And that's exactly what I did.

When Aysha's heart stopped beating my heart broke forever.

Every week I visit my Twinkle Toe's garden and have done since the day she died.

I thought the abuse of Aysha had ended I was wrong in December 2007 Aysha's garden was vandalised, The headstone had to be removed as it was deemed unsafe. Finding her garden like that hurt so bad.

Well I didn't just sit there and take that, Who ever vandalised Aysha's garden did me a favour really.

I redone her garden within a few month's with a new headstone, This time I got to choose the headstone. I didn't choose it I had it specially made. Eeyore in remembrance of the stuffed version I brought for her 1st birthday, I gave Eeyore back to my precious Twinkle Toes one her mum couldn't take away.

My beautiful beautiful Twinkle Toe's
The first time we saw you baby it was love at first sight, You was so small, So tiny and fragile with a mop of black hair, You were gorgeous with your stunning blue eyes you are my Twinkle Toes. Your 22 years old now in earth years but forever a beautiful baby girl in my heart, And still every week me and Nanny visit your grave .

You will never know how many we have asked ourselves' if we could have done any more, But in our hearts we know we could not, We told the social services weekly, I even nearly got arrested by the police ( I was just 16 and they would not listen and told me too take you back or be arrested for abduction) whilst trying to protect you, And another time when you were about 2 and a half months old I remember nanny awaking me saying she was woken by the sound of a baby crying, well we found the baby it was you. Your evil mum had left you at about 2am on Nannies door step (not even safely just plonked you there ) and gone out clubbing.
Well Nanny did refuse too give you back and was ordered too by the police yet again. why did they always believe your mums word over ours ?, We remember your hand movement's when you came to Nannies pleading with them to get you out the pram, Where your evil mum alway's left you, I can even remember the tears that would dwell in your bright big bright blue eyes but was too scared to fall .

I hate my sister for eternally, Your angel smile, I still close my eyes and see that smile. Your smell, Your blue eyes, everything is still strong in our hearts, baby.

Baby girl if mine and Nannie's love could have saved you alone you would not have died. They ordered post mortem's on you 3 times baby, We were not allowed to see you the coroner said it was best we remembered you how you was, But he did say your hair was down to your shoulders, I wished too have seen that and put pretty bows in your hair and you still had the earrings Nanny brought you, that I am glad of.

I remember being escorted to your home by the police to collect a few bits, I could not believe it baby, the house was furnished and tidy till we got to your room, I said to the officer where's her bed, He pointed to a thin blanket on floor and said over there, Baby my dog even has her own bed. How can anyone put a baby to sleep on the floor, Me and Nanny asked if we could take the teddies (I still have mine and smell it every time just to be close to too ) that we had brought u on your 1st birthday He said we could, bless him we also took a couple of photos sadly reporters from the main newspapers ask to borrow them, for us never to get them back, apart from these 2 teddies u had no toys, that itself baby is cruel, no toys no bed and no love from your parents. Animals are treated better baby :( we did not know baby as mum would not let us near always blaming your step dad as she said he was a bully and a gambler, he always in the bookies on the benefit money they received I do not think your mum or dad ever worked. But I will state the truth by saying Nanny or Auntie Carole never saw Roy (Your Stepdad) ever hit or hurt me when he visited Nannie's.
But behind your homes closed doors we do not know what went on.

Christine was released in about 1990-1991 after serving just 2 years for the murder of Aysha.
Now did social services learn their lesson..... Oh no.
According to our Dad who was in contact with her she's living in Ireland and gone on and brought another 3 children into the world.
At Christine's request my Dad never released to us where she is but after he's death I found a letter from a Cork post master refering to Christine.
In southern Ireland she is protected.
I have tried to search for her to find out if the children are safe. But havent as yet she maybe married or changed her name.
Social services there have refused to get involved unless I know their names and where she lives.

HEADLINES IN THE TIME NEWSPAPER WHEN THE TRIAL WAS GOING ON .....


The Times
FRI 23 DEC 1988
Ed: 1
Pg:
Word Count: 1159 Learning to save the children;Cruelty
By the cruellest of ironies the full horror of the dismal life and terrible death of Doreen Mason is revealed on the eve of Christmas, the very time when children are most indulged. Of course the millions of children who will awake on Sunday to a mas...

The Times
THU 22 DEC 1988
Ed: 1
Pg:
Word Count: 600 A lost child;Leading Article
Each time a court hears the tale of yet another baby battered to death by inadequate parents inevitable grief and shock are mixed with anger: anger that after a series of public inquiries that have each thrown up sensible suggestions on how not to le...

The Times
THU 22 DEC 1988
Ed: 4*s
Pg:
Word Count: 629 Three boroughs allowed an `at-risk' baby to slip through their legal ne t s; Doreen Mason
Doreen Mason's family background of child abuse was so deep-rooted she was probably doomed from birth. The girl, aged 16 months and half Turkish, might nevertheless have been saved from the torture inflicted by her deprived mother, Christine Mason, a...

The Times
THU 22 DEC 1988
Ed: 4*s
Pg:
Word Count: 386 Minister calls for extensive inquiry;Doreen Mason
Mr David Mellor, Minister of State for Health, called for an independent inquiry into the events leading to Doreen Mason's death to ``establish whether the proper authorities should have acted differently'' yesterday. Mr Mellor suggested the inquiry ...

The Times
THU 22 DEC 1988
Ed: 4ss
Pg:
Word Count: 1186 Parents of tortured girl jailed for 12 years;Doreen Mason
The parents of Doreen Mason, the battered baby who died last year from a brain haemorrhage after a brief life of torture, were sent to prison for 12 years yesterday for cruelty and manslaughter. Mr Justice Turner told the couple: ``You have been conv...

The Times
WED 21 DEC 1988
Ed: 5**
Pg:
Word Count: 503 Parents of dead child found guilty of cruelty
The parents of Doreen Mason, aged 16 months, were found guilty of child cruelty yesterday but the jury failed to reach verdicts on murder charges against the two. The judge at at the Central Criminal Court sent the jury to a hotel for the night after...

The Times
FRI 09 DEC 1988
Ed: 1
Pg:
Word Count: 308 Baby `dangled from third floor balcony';Roy Aston
A girl aged 16 months was dangled over the edge of a third floor balcony after a violent argument between her parents, the Central Criminal Court was told yesterday. The allegation was made against the baby's stepfather, Roy Aston, by Christine Mason...

The Times
WED 07 DEC 1988
Ed: 3*
Pg:
Word Count: 178 Father `blamed for death';Doreen Mason
A mother told police that her partner had murdered her daughter aged 16 months, the Central Criminal Court was told yesterday. Christine Mason, aged 21, is alleged to have said: ``This is all down to him he murdered my baby''. Police Insp Mary Tucker...

The Times
TUE 06 DEC 1988
Ed: 3*
Pg:
Word Count: 774 Tortured baby was `held under water by her stepfather'
A battered and tortured girl aged 16 months was held under bathwater for two minutes at a time by her stepfather as a punishment for not eating, the Central Criminal Court was told yesterday. The girl's mother, who faces joint charges of murder and c...

The Times
FRI 02 DEC 1988
Ed: 1
Pg:
Word Count: 630 Mother `admitted she killed her first child';Trial of Christine Mason and Roy Aston
A woman on trial for the murder of her baby daughter allegedly told a social worker that she had smothered her 10-week-old son less than three years earlier. Mr Stephen Spurr, a team leader for Harrow social services, told the Central Criminal Court ...

The Times
THU 01 DEC 1988
Ed: sco
Pg:
Word Count: 532 Baby `battered and bruised';Couple deny murder of Doreen Mason
A baby who was battered to death had probably been banged against a wall or rammed head-first on to the floor, the Central Criminal Court was told yesterday. Doreen Mason, aged 16 months, had been placed on a council at-risk register at birth but her...









Aysha Jane Kuddissi

22.05.1986- 13.09.1987

As they handed you to me to hold my eyes filled up with tears,

I had planned on spending lots of time with you for many years,

But the angels came and got you 16 months after you arrived,

And as I was left to sift through all my grief which has left me old and tired,

To stand and watch my only niece being laid to rest

Was one of the hardest days within my life and has put my faith to test,

But I know that your with God today in the beautiful sky above

Rest peacefully, My precious baby niece, Aysha

I will see you soon and know you'll be forever loved.

Auntie Carole

Lyrics to To where you are, the first Track playing

Who's To Say For Certain
Maybe you're still here
I feel you all around me
Your memory's so clear

Deep in the stillness
I can hear you speak
You're still an inspiration
Can it be (?)
That you are my
Forever love
And you are watching over me from up above

Fly me up to where you are
Beyond the distant star
I wish upon tonight
To see you smile
If only for awhile to know you're there
A breath away's not far
To where you are

Are you gently sleeping
Here inside my dream
And isn't faith believing
All power can't be seen

As my heart holds you
Just one beat away
I cherish all you gave me everyday
'Cause you are my
Forever love
Watching me from up above

And I believe
That angels breathe
And that love will
live on and never leave

Fly me up
To where you are
Beyond the distant star
I wish upon tonight
To see you smile
If only for awhile
To know you're there
A breath away's not far
To where you are

I know you're there
A breath away's not far
To where you are